WHY, JUST WHYYYYY.

i finally have inspiration to blog. for the past days,weeks, perhaps a fuckin month? ive basically been MIA to this, at times im just lazy as fuck and at other times i spend a whole 20 minutes thinking of the perfect title and end up with "uhhhhh...." in my mind. so fuck it, too much shit on my mind just let me blurt out a few things..oh you know.. just from the top of my head. first of all parents are gone to the philippines, sooo therefore my only support system is my older sister aka "heres food, ur set, im going out" seriously im trying my best to not be bad for her, how can I settle down to stay at home when she wont even be there herself? question,answer. EASY I DONT LIKE GOING HOME. realtalk, i miss my parents. i actually miss my moms call "anak where are u na? go home now" or my little sister..fuck she may be the biggest little shit but i miss her constant nagging "ATTEEEE" i hate eating fastfood everyday.. i despise pizza or anything that comes with fries. haha shit i need to learn how to cook filipino food or simply home cooked food. anyways i was recently part of a cotillion, which is the very first cotillion ive ever been in. i realized, since everybody is turning 18 this year in my batch there are going to be a shitload of events to attend to when ill still be the youngest and wont turn 18 till after highschool, aye aye fuck you alright? im not trippen im getting mines. haha im gona miss kim's court, having dinner at her house every night, and the drugged version of stephen! LMAO.

so lastnight..ahh.
thats basically all i got to say a big fuckin AHHHH. lets just say i lost a big part of my life however what happened, happened. no time to bitch about it, just handle everthing and 5 years from now me and my girls will be having dinner and one of us will be like "remember the summer before we were seniors when....blah blah happeend" oh and one more thing KARMAS A BITCH =) and being flat broke sucks to its all good my babydaddey got me.. ha ha ha

johntruong: my baby, my love, the one person that never lets me down. thanks boo for stickin there within all the struggles you see me through. i come home to you everyday and sleep in your bed feeling safe with no worries in the world. i cant express enough the way you make me feel nor can tell you how much love we've built together. i fell in love with the idea of falling in love, we both knew what rockbottom felt like.. been there done that type shit? and honestly i dont care much of it as long as you know im the real thing. i may have too much confidence in this relationship.. better having too much then none at all am i right or am i right. what im trying to say is that i love you ok? we'll get far.. trust.. were too young right now to know whats ahead of us. lets battle each day like its the last im tired of seeing good relationships gone bad. waste of time, life, and strength. ill be here whenever you need me, you know that. do what you do and keep me happy, thats all i ask.

im tired, drained, worn out all the feelings opposite from being happy. lifes being a hassle to me right now, i have to take care of so many things that i lost its rediculous. takin it one day at a time and enjoying whats left of summer. events that im looking forward to is cheer camp at uc davis 6-9 and the weezy-drake concert on the 15th or is it 16th or maybe 13th? all i know is that me and john have some crackin ass seats! haha so in conclusion im gona be back to blogging because it made me feel better thinking out loud instead of bottling up everything inside and running like a little bitch to my boyfriend and crying hahah. shiiiittttt. peace, love, and hello kitty.